Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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