I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
