Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I AM VODKA MAN
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
