my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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