just come out here and I will go home with you...
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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