they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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