dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Randomize
