I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
