Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
