we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
