it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
