Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
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