And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
