I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I deserve this hangover.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
