Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I am mentally ready for anal.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
