She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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