K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
