Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
