If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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