Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
