no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize
