I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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