Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
