didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
