Where is the hickey?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Randomize
