There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
