I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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