Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
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I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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