He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
