problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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