I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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