So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
