You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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