Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
