they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
