ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
