You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
