She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
