everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I want to be your penis for a week.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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