where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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