I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
