Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We smell like vodka and hangover
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