I looked at my own cervix.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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