Me too!
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
