She's JV to your varsity
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
