i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
