Where did you get a picture of my penis
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
