Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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