Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
