So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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