I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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