Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
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