Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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