well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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