its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
