Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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