I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
