He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
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