apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.