booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
