I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
