Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
