I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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